i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
