My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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