By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
