he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize