God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
