Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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