Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
