i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
