Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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