A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
