So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
