I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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