so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
