the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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