Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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