Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
