Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
