Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
