We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
