return my video game
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
