well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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