I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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