just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
