I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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