he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
