I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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