D3 body, D1 cock
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
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the liver wants what the liver wants
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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