she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
