take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
