ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
