I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
