Pants 0. Shit 1.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
