I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
