Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
