I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
