I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
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stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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