It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize