that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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