What tipped you off? The sombrero?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
