Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
