Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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