just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
