I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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