I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is Oprah even human
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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