I bet he comes in French.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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