i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
operation harelip BJ is a go
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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