Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
