when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
