I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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