if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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