I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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