I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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