alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
