You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize