Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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