Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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