She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
