I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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