I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
