I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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