im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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