My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
They have beer where we have blood.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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