Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
