How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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