JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
