I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
