whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
