I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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