Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
